Michelle Rodriguez Felt 'Jealous' That Paul Walker Died Before She Did

When Paul Walker died in a car accident in 2013, his entire Fast & Furious family came together to mourn their costar and friend. And it looks like his loss had a major effect on costar Michelle Rodriguez, who recently revealed that it led her to a life-changing new perspective about life and death.

In a new documentary, Rodriguez revealed that she went to a pretty dark place after Walker's death. "I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being an animal," she said in a clip obtained by TMZ. "Like, what could I do physically to just get my mind off existentialism, get my mind off how transient life is and we just come here and can disappear any moment? I did absolutely anything I could do to hide from myself." 

The documentary, called The Reality of Truth, features Rodriguez and experts talking about spirituality, meditation, and psychedelic drugs. For Rodriguez, taking the psychedelic drug Ayahuasca changed her perspective about death. "My Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here," she said, laughing. "It wasn't a sadness that he's gone, it was more like a jealousy that he's there first." No matter your perspective on drug use, it seems like she's in a better place now, which is tough to do no matter how you deal with grief.